In hope against hope, he believed...Romans 4:18

One of the hardest things we have done as a young married couple has been moving to Louisville. It has been one overwhelming trial after another. It has been a storm like no other that we have encountered together. There have been such intense swells of difficulty that I felt we were surely drowning. At the moments when I thought I simply couldn't breathe under the weight of it, His glorious hand would reach me... He makes me cry. He refreshes my soul by His thoughtfulness and at the same time breaks me with His tenderness. He has used the most faithful people to renew us~ my parents, my mom, my aunt, my grandparents, sj. Without His touch on their hearts, and without their obedient faithfulness I dare not think about how the past few months would have been. They are all reminders of God's love and faithfulness to our family.

Through this intense time of trial, we have grown so much~ Glory to God. And yet, we are keenly aware that we have so much more to learn. Before we moved, the Lord presented me with a tough question. "Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" to which, in all my superficiality, I responded...honestly I might add, "I think not." And I was embarassed before Him to realize that, while these are important things, they consumed me. So here we are, some time later, and we can't afford groceries and we can't afford clothes for my growing body or even to replace Clint's tatered, torn work shoes. And do you know, that in the midst of all of this, I feel more at peace than I ever have. Now this is not to be confused with the fact that there are still times that I am afraid. But I choose to trust.

This morning I sat down, and asked Jesus to speak to me. I really wanted Him to tell me how it turns out. He has done that before with situations... but He chose not to give those answers. Instead, this is what He spoke to me through His Word, "Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" to which, in my weathered and bare state, I responded, "I think so." This is why He leaves me breathless. I didn't go searching for that, He brought it to me so bold and strong. And He said, as He has so many times before, "In hope against hope, he believed... will you?"

"Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace,
Streams of mercy never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonet sung by flaming tongues above,
Praise the mount I'm fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my ebeneezer, hither by thy help I've come.
And I hope by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger, wondering from the fold of God.
Oh He to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood.

Oh to grace how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be.
And let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wonder Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above."