Be blessed

from The Valley of Vision
A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions

The Broken Heart
O Lord,
No day of my life has passed
that has not proved me guilty in thy sight.
Prayers have been uttered from a prayerless heart;
Praise has been often praiseless sound;
My best services are filthy rags.
Blessed Jesus, let me find a covert in thy appeasing wounds.
Though my sins rise to heaven thy merits soar above them;
Though unrighteousness weighs me down to hell,
thy righteousness exalts me to thy throne.
All things in me call for my rejection,
All things in thee plead for my acceptance.
I appeal from the throne of perfect justice
to thy throne of boundless grace,
Grant me to hear thy voice assuring me:
that by thy stripes I am healed,
that thou wast bruised for my iniquities,
that thou hast been made sin for me
that I might be righteous in thee,
that my grievous sins, my manifold sins,
are all forgiven,
buried in the ocean of thy concealing blood.
I am guilty, but pardoned,
lost, but saved,
wandering, but found,
sinning, but cleansed.
Give me perpetual broken-heartedness,
Keep me always clinging to thy cross,
Flood me every moment with descending grace,
Open to me the springs of divine knowledge,
sparkling like crystal,
flowing clear and unsullied
through my wilderness of life.

If you're wondering....

why I keep posting song lyrics instead of my own words and pictures etc...

well, this is a time in my life where I don't all together trust my own words and emotions. It's a time when I hear songs that resonate deep in my soul and I'm thankful I'm not the only one who has thought certain things and felt the way I do... or have.

I'm thankful I am not alone in my thoughts and struggles. In a culture... or maybe just a church culture that doesn't necessarily cultivate a sense of safety in the difficult-
this is my seemingly small attempt to remain true.

So here is the latest song that I can't shake. If you aren't familiar with the work of Sara Groves I encourage you to check her out. But if you do, put on your seat belt because she is for real :)

I Saw What I Saw :
I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it

Something on the road, cut me to the soul

Your pain has changed me
your dream inspires
your face a memory
your hope a fire
your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
(what I am made of)
and what I know of love

we've done what we've done and we can't erase it
we are what we are and it's more than enough
we have what we have but it's no substitution

Something on the road, touched my very soul

I say what I say with no hesitation
I have what I have and I'm giving it up
I do what I do with deep conviction

Something on the road, changed my world

Walking on campus lends itself to reminiscing about when I was there before. When I was full of idealistic views of how my life would be and how my story would go. Those are the times when I thought my story would look a certain way and when I was absolutely certain the way it would not look.

Now I am different, changed. Things have happened and life is not always the way I thought it would or should be.

I have been thinking if I will be the one that sees my circumstances as 'half full or half empty'. The cliche question of pessimism or optimism. I have struggled because neither one seems entirely comfortable.

So maybe for me, it will be both. For me, I think it takes more courage to see things for what they are, as both having and lacking. To take courage when life isn't as black and white as I previously had hoped and believed.

It is taking more courage to be changed and not jaded.

I am not empty but I am worn

These lyrics are so personal. One day, if the Lord ever sees fit to give me a platform, I will honor Him with 'warnings to sailors on their way'.

"The Lighthouse's Tale"
a song by Nickel Creek

I am a lighthouse, worn by the weather and the waves.
I keep my lamp lit, to warn the sailors on their way.

I'll tell a story, paint you a picture from my past.
I was so happy, but joy in this life seldom lasts.

I had a keeper, he helped me warn the ships at sea.
We had grown closer, 'till his joy meant everything to me.

And he was to marry, a girl who shone with beauty and light.
And they loved each other, and with me watched the sunsets into night.


And the waves crashing around me, the sand slips out to sea.
And the winds that blow remind me, of what has been, and what can never be.

She'd had to leave us, my keeper he prayed for a safe return.
But when the night came, the weather to a raging storm had turned.

He watched her ship fight, but in vain against the wild and terrible wave.
In me so helpless, as dashed against the rock she met her end.



Then on the next day, my keeper found her washed up on the SHORE.
He kissed her cold face, that they'd be together soon he'd swore.

I saw him crying, watched as he buried her in the sand.
And then he climbed my tower, and off of the edge of me he ran.



I am a lighthouse, worn by the weather and the waves.
And though I am empty, I still warn the sailors on their way.

Needed a Change :)

mY FiRst dAy oF sCHooL

It was wonderful!

I was scared to death :)

Everything has changed. I have changed. I called my friend Amanda who started back this past summer and she just laughed. We decided that we are way more cool than we were when we were there last :)

But really, it was so good. I loved every second of it. I have forgotten how excited I get over the education process. All of my classes are filled with fun little projects and group work.

We get cute stuff at the end of the semester to take for our future classrooms :0
I am all about cute stuff!

But I just kept thinking about my little boys at home, thinking about how even though I am missing 2 days of every week with them, I will be able to help Clint give them such a neat future.

But I have to tell you, I got home and wondered if they had actually missed me? The girls who are staying here, playing with them are amazing and they absolutely love each other :) I kinda can't believe it! Praise God!

I am thrilled to be in my life right now.

This Journey Is My Own

by Sara Groves

It feels good to walk my own way for a change,
His way for me...
Completely liberating.

When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone
This journey is my own
Still I want man’s advice, and I need man’s approval
This journey is my own

Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
What does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

So much of what I do is to make a good impression
This journey is my own
And so much of what I say is to make myself look better
But this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life

And I have never felt relief like I feel it right now
This journey is my own
Cuz trying to please the world, it was breaking me down
It was breaking me down

And now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one
Cuz I know this journey is my own

And why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price
And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life
And you can live for someone else, and it will only bring you pain
I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’

Oh, this journey is my own

On the road to beautiful

For my old friend Renee


A song for the weak,
a song for the broken
song for the poor,
for the angry,
the bitter and confused.

A song for the broken,
the hurting
a song for the cynic
for the addicted
a song for those who have lost all the words to all their songs

do you not know
have you not heard
your Father does not get weary of you

When the young man walks and faints
when the young girl loses her way
then our great God says rise up on the wings of an eagle
Rise, rise rise
He says rise, rise and fly...

Those who have tripped
feel hurt
left
burdened
confused
rise to your God

let the prodigal parts of your heart return
let the cynical parts of our hearts have peace again
and believe

That is the end to one of my favorite songs...
here is the rest of
On the Road to Beautiful by Charlie Hall

I crumble at Your kiss and grace
I'm a weakling in the dust
Teach me how to cling to You
With all my life and all my love

Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing

And on the road to beautiful
My seasons always change
But my life is spent on loving You
To know You in Your power and pain

Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand
My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my hands
But my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King
So in faltering or victory I will always sing

You're my portion in this life
You're my strength now in my fight
And to You I pledge my heart
In the pain and in the dark I'll love You
I'll love You, I'll love You

I'll love You...