enough.
Sometimes I worry
maybe I'm not brave enough.
"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
1 Corinthians 12:9-10
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Perfectly Orchestrated
This may seem a bit hokey to some but it was extremely personal to me.
This Sunday I heard one of the most incredible sermons. I am blessed to sit under my pastor. It was the last in a series on grace. Every one has been beautiful and uncomfortable. However this one was unique in that for a few brief moments, our pastor became so overwhelmed by the grace of God that he couldn't finish reading the stanzas of a hymn. It was beautiful.
I felt like the Lord assured me I was right where I needed to be.
He very clearly spoke that I have been forgiven, sanctified and restored.
He clearly said that even the road ahead wouldn't be easy.
So while I left encouraged, not even moments through the church doors it began...
an onslaught of things that would test my heart.
Yesterday was hard. It ended with me feeling confused and irritated. But it ended with a friend praying over me as we agreed that this was difficult. Her prayer was that the Lord would tear down the walls. Then I had a sad dream... I hate those!
So I woke up and started to tell Clint about it. He was hugging me in the kitchen and said he was sorry. Then he said, "Look, there is a cardinal :), and he sung 'I'm here, I'm here" and we both smiled. I just sat there looking at the cardinal, thinking.
There are people who come into your life and give you gifts that you take with you always. Even through painful and heartbreaking circumstances, they can show you something that you will never forget, a gift.
One such person, a beautiful person, shared with Clint and I that she loves birds and keeps a bird house outside her kitchen window. Every time she will see one it's like the Lord singing to her, "I'm here, I'm here". She wrote on her blog about how the cardinal uses his red coat to protect his partner. That the brightness of the color attracts predators to him and away from her. She made the point that Christ uses His cross to shield us, if we are willing to respond. So every time we see a cardinal, we hear her sing that message, "I'm here, I'm here". Such a gift.
So I sat there, looking out my window this morning, overwhelmed at His message... "I'm here, I'm here" and heard a song that Clint had playing on Itunes.
The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering that Your love put You through
And I will walk through the darkness
If You want me to
Cuz when I cross over Jordan
Gonna sing, gonna shout,
Gonna look into Your eyes and see You never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to You
And I will walk though the valley
If You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley
If You want me to
(Ginny Owen's If you want me to)
I love Him so much my heart hurts.
Thank you sister for the gifts you gave me.
This Sunday I heard one of the most incredible sermons. I am blessed to sit under my pastor. It was the last in a series on grace. Every one has been beautiful and uncomfortable. However this one was unique in that for a few brief moments, our pastor became so overwhelmed by the grace of God that he couldn't finish reading the stanzas of a hymn. It was beautiful.
I felt like the Lord assured me I was right where I needed to be.
He very clearly spoke that I have been forgiven, sanctified and restored.
He clearly said that even the road ahead wouldn't be easy.
So while I left encouraged, not even moments through the church doors it began...
an onslaught of things that would test my heart.
Yesterday was hard. It ended with me feeling confused and irritated. But it ended with a friend praying over me as we agreed that this was difficult. Her prayer was that the Lord would tear down the walls. Then I had a sad dream... I hate those!
So I woke up and started to tell Clint about it. He was hugging me in the kitchen and said he was sorry. Then he said, "Look, there is a cardinal :), and he sung 'I'm here, I'm here" and we both smiled. I just sat there looking at the cardinal, thinking.
There are people who come into your life and give you gifts that you take with you always. Even through painful and heartbreaking circumstances, they can show you something that you will never forget, a gift.
One such person, a beautiful person, shared with Clint and I that she loves birds and keeps a bird house outside her kitchen window. Every time she will see one it's like the Lord singing to her, "I'm here, I'm here". She wrote on her blog about how the cardinal uses his red coat to protect his partner. That the brightness of the color attracts predators to him and away from her. She made the point that Christ uses His cross to shield us, if we are willing to respond. So every time we see a cardinal, we hear her sing that message, "I'm here, I'm here". Such a gift.
So I sat there, looking out my window this morning, overwhelmed at His message... "I'm here, I'm here" and heard a song that Clint had playing on Itunes.
The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering that Your love put You through
And I will walk through the darkness
If You want me to
Cuz when I cross over Jordan
Gonna sing, gonna shout,
Gonna look into Your eyes and see You never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to You
And I will walk though the valley
If You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley
If You want me to
(Ginny Owen's If you want me to)
I love Him so much my heart hurts.
Thank you sister for the gifts you gave me.
Monday, August 17, 2009
New Look ;)
Clint told me the other day that our blog needed a new look.
It kinda made me laugh.
So here is what I played around with today.
What do you think?
it's really pink but I kinda like it...
It kinda made me laugh.
So here is what I played around with today.
What do you think?
it's really pink but I kinda like it...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Forward Moving....
Forward thinking....
Well, I finally did it! I have been talking about going back to school to get my teaching license for about 4-5 months.
I graduated in 2005 with an intent to get my masters in psychology :) Funny how the Lord has other plans. I had a baby instead. Nothing like a child to redirect your entire life, they are the very best things that have ever happened to me.
So in order to give us added security and a little more income I am going to return to school and get my teaching license. The hope is to be able to teach in the same elementary school as they attend (dream job would be Providence Christian :)
I can't wait. I am excited and scared all at the same time. But I feel confident that this is the right next step for me.
Funny, sometimes when it feels like you're going back to where you started, in all actuality, you are farther along the road than ever.
Praises
Well, I finally did it! I have been talking about going back to school to get my teaching license for about 4-5 months.
I graduated in 2005 with an intent to get my masters in psychology :) Funny how the Lord has other plans. I had a baby instead. Nothing like a child to redirect your entire life, they are the very best things that have ever happened to me.
So in order to give us added security and a little more income I am going to return to school and get my teaching license. The hope is to be able to teach in the same elementary school as they attend (dream job would be Providence Christian :)
I can't wait. I am excited and scared all at the same time. But I feel confident that this is the right next step for me.
Funny, sometimes when it feels like you're going back to where you started, in all actuality, you are farther along the road than ever.
Praises
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Never Failing
His word never ceases to amaze me, comfort me... to melt my cynicism.
"O you afflicted one, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems, and lay your foundations with sapphires."
Isa. 54:11
"And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in."
Isa. 58:12
His words are water to my soul...
"O you afflicted one, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems, and lay your foundations with sapphires."
Isa. 54:11
"And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in."
Isa. 58:12
His words are water to my soul...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Still Standing
I feel like I should preface this for those of you that read this and don't know all that is happening in our lives right now.
About 6 months ago we entered into a different part of our journey as a couple, as individuals... as children of God.
It is real and painful and a legitimately difficult time. It is not the same as every one's story, in fact I only know a few people in our circle that have walked this same road. That has made it a bit more isolating and lonely... However, one thing that is not different is that we all have our own stories of painful circumstances at times. Circumstances that require more of us than we feel capable of giving.
That is all our story, at one time or another, if we are truly honest with ourselves. Jesus told us it would happen. "In this world you will have trouble..." John 16:33
I hope that as our family finds bravery through Him to do what seems... impossible, that you will be encouraged. That as we take up our cross, and as we struggle to "take heart" in Him you will be reminded that He has truly "overcome the world" and as Oswald says... 'He gives us overcoming life as we overcome' in Him.
Ignore those that might tell you it's draining to grieve difficult times. Granted, it seems to be more a part of some people's lives than others (mine :). But you never know what is down the road from a season of heartache... no matter how long the season. He is faithful.
"Walking, stumbling on these shadow feet
toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing, less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when I began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and the mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
i'll be found in you
Still standing
Theres distractions buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows its easier to stay
but i've heard rumors of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way
You make all things new
you make all things new
You make all things...
Brooke Frasier's Shadowfeet
About 6 months ago we entered into a different part of our journey as a couple, as individuals... as children of God.
It is real and painful and a legitimately difficult time. It is not the same as every one's story, in fact I only know a few people in our circle that have walked this same road. That has made it a bit more isolating and lonely... However, one thing that is not different is that we all have our own stories of painful circumstances at times. Circumstances that require more of us than we feel capable of giving.
That is all our story, at one time or another, if we are truly honest with ourselves. Jesus told us it would happen. "In this world you will have trouble..." John 16:33
I hope that as our family finds bravery through Him to do what seems... impossible, that you will be encouraged. That as we take up our cross, and as we struggle to "take heart" in Him you will be reminded that He has truly "overcome the world" and as Oswald says... 'He gives us overcoming life as we overcome' in Him.
Ignore those that might tell you it's draining to grieve difficult times. Granted, it seems to be more a part of some people's lives than others (mine :). But you never know what is down the road from a season of heartache... no matter how long the season. He is faithful.
"Walking, stumbling on these shadow feet
toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing, less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when I began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and the mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
i'll be found in you
Still standing
Theres distractions buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows its easier to stay
but i've heard rumors of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way
You make all things new
you make all things new
You make all things...
Brooke Frasier's Shadowfeet
Monday, August 10, 2009
When Hope is Painful...
believe
" Tonight I forgot a line in the play that you and I
have been rehearsing since the day we met,
It made me put down my script, it made me look around a bit
And wonder how we came to play these roles
I'm here to re-write this tragedy
One line at a time
Hold on, I'm changing all the scenery
it's ok, we'll be fine
Cause we know how this ends
Sometimes it's hard to tell what to keep and what to kill
What of this makes us who we are
All that we love the most, all that we cannot let go
How much change can we survive?
I'm here to re-write this tragedy
One line at a time
Hold on, I'm changing all the scenery
it's ok we'll be fine
Cause we know how this ends
We know there's a better story
There's a better story
Of true love of true grace
There's the hope of glory
And our first chance to be truly brave
It's the place we're going
When we can't stay where we are"
Sarah Grove's Re-write This tragedy
"Lord I believe, but help my unbelief"
Mark 9:24
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